Exclusive: Tom Cruise buys Google Adwords, to launch new web site. In two days, his official web site TomCruise.com is gonna…
May 3, 2008
ITEM: Tom Cruise is buying Google Adwords. His Scientology handlers must be working on his SEO optimization; type in “Tom Cruise” in Google Search — and his paid sponsored ads pop up at the top of the search results. It directs surfers to a new official TomCruise.com launching soon… Some of the google ads say “Get the real scoop from Tom Cruise. Stay Tuned For Official Site Launch” “The Countdown is On. TomCruise.com launches May 5th. Get the scoop!” and “The Official Site Launches Soon. You’ll Never Guess What’s Coming!”
ITEM: Interesting timing. Tom’s Scientology handlers knew that us idiots would be googling his name online, right after his weirdo Oprah appearance, so the time was perfect to capture people to go to his site, instead of sites like um, Tomcruiseisnuts.com. They know they need to control the spin, so their mission is to direct googlers to officially authorized Tom Cruise Scientology web madness.
ITEM: The Official Tom Cruise site just has a big ol freaky countdown clock. It’s like being in the Hatch with Locke in Lost. On May 5th, “You’ll Never Guess What’s Coming!?” So what the eff is gonna happen?!
Maybe:
- Xenu erupts?
- Thetan threat level III?
- Tom skullfucks Matt Lauer on YouTube?
- That closet opens wide wide baby?
- Tom Cruise does goatse or the hamster dance?
- He Rickroll’s Kate and Suri?
Push the button, Locke! Or don’t push the button?! Arrrghh!!!
Update: Eeek, we’re a bit freaked by that big ol weird Scientology video channel ad that google adwords is serving up for this post. We’re too scared to click on it…
Update 2: Flashback: Tom Cruise Acquires TomCruise.com in 2006
Update 3: Ok, currently it seems like they might’ve pulled off the google adwords. Our exclusive story, with the below screenshot, was picked up early by Valleywag and Techcrunch, who did searches and verified our story, also with screenshots. Visit their sites to see their findings.
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3 Responses to “Exclusive: Tom Cruise buys Google Adwords, to launch new web site. In two days, his official web site TomCruise.com is gonna…”
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Quote: “instead of sites like um, Tomcruiseisnuts.com.”
Can you replace “Tomcruiseisnuts.com” (the anchor text itself) with “Tom Cruise”? It will sound awkward, no doubt, but will counter their effort, if only a wee bit. I am not affiliated with either site.
I hope the new site helps tell the truth to counter all the lies told about this guy.
Dear Tom Cruise and fans,
He is the best — just look at that body of work and films over the past 25 years! He has been the cornerstone of helping many others win their oscars, such as Hoffman in “RainMan” and Paul Newman in “The Color of Money” Everyone agrees that he is gracious and kind to the entire cast of any movie that he is in! He deserves his happiness and, hopefully, the negative idiots will let up on the spinning of his life. In “Collateral” and “Minority Report” and “Magnolia” how can you get any better! ? Leave him alone and just appreciate the magic!
Debbie